I have experienced the devastation of becoming a widow.
When my husband died suddenly I died too. And then I had to figure out how to live for my son. My first priority was our health. Breathing. And then I had to figure out step after step while in the absolute worst pain and fog of my life. I did it, as many people do when tragedy occurs.
Both professionally and personally, I have had a very full and engaging life. I have made good decision after good decision my entire life. People – coworkers, friends, family – have used me as their sounding board.
However, as a sudden widow, most of the unsolicited advice I was given came from people that did not know me and had not been through a spouse’s death. I ignored all of them. When I wanted advice I went specifically to the people that I trusted, whether paid or unpaid, that took the time to listen to my thoughts.
Within days of my husband's death I needed to find professionals to talk to that understood my pain. I couldn't find therapists or counselors that specialized in widow grief. When I became a widow I could not find a counselor, therapist, or life coach that had this kind of experience. Three weeks after my husband died I did meet with a general therapist and I told her during my first session that once I stabilized my family and my life, I needed to reach out to other widows and help them. I understood intense pain. Widow pain.
This widow understands.
Widow to Widow LLC was created for grieving widows at any stage to talk about their experiences and emotions in a safe and confidential space. I provide nonclinical support for widows when they are ready, and assist in helping them clarify their thoughts. Widow to Widow LLC is an opportunity for you to speak with someone who will not invalidate your feelings. I have a personal glimpse into your pain, while also understanding that your experience is unique.
My focus will be you. However, if you want to know how I felt at a certain time after my husband’s death all you need to do is ask. I have notebooks filled with my thoughts. I will tell you my truth at the time.
Speak your truth.
In a country that is uncomfortable with pain and despair it is difficult for your family and friends to listen to your true feelings. Your feelings are your feelings and when you want to express them I will listen. You will be heard.
Every death is a tragedy. Let’s face it, people don’t know what to do or say when tragedy occurs. Friends and family will often try to make you feel better. In trying to make you feel better, they often attempt to minimize the devastation or disregard your feelings which invariably inflicts more pain. I will hear you. I am the right person to talk to for what you are going through.
I keep it all confidential.
You will be heard.
- Sue Maghielse